Dreams...

Time To Say Goodbye!

2009-08-20T09:43:00.000-07:00

Heres the thing: I really want to focus on my other blog.

Shout-out to ALL the wonderful people that followed this blog. Special Special shout-out to the following folks, Stephanie (the most genuine and sweetest blogger in the whole blogosphere!)InsomniacLolita~ (thanks for all your LOVELY comments) The Cliche Blogger (my Twitter BFF, you are a silly mess and I love it, girl!) Lade, my friend at Lagos City Photo Blog (you are so awesome) Fellow guilt-free blogger Crowciousness, I mean Dr. Crowciousness- congrats! Fellow New York City Gal, Tudor City Girl, (you always wrote the most endearing comments). Nigerian Drama Queen (such a refreshing inspiration, you have the best blog ever!) Thanks to the Geekiest of all Geeks...(if it wasn't for you, I would not know whats COOL and what's not) of course, 8thlight. And finally (for those of you who still don't know)- heres the big reveal...My Blog Crush! -Hey Babe!
Thanks so much to all of you. You all will definitely be on the new blog-roll *kisses and hugs* Love, Mika.
P.S I will still use Twitter to micro-blog about my personal life. Follow me there too!, if you don't already. All My Love.

Just Some Thoughts of an Unconventional Thinker... (Part 2)

2009-07-26T07:31:00.000-07:00

First,This is Part One of this blog post, (read first if you haven't already) :)

Children seem to be the most honest and tolerant people on earth. This is not news to me but it is so refreshing to witness; it gives me hope. Perhaps adults will one day be able to be empathetic and tolerant of others race, religion, gender, views, lifestyles etc. Watching the children of different backgrounds play games with each other in the park, put a smile on my face; it did not matter to them that they were different from each other. I know some teachers that treat their students in a certain way because they are "different".On the other hand, children are very good at doing the total opposite. They are accepting of all people regardless of differences. In the times that we are living in where racial and religious tensions are so high, all over the world; it makes me happy that there is still some love left, within our children. There is also much Imagination and Innocence that we adults lack at times. Dakota was no different, she too didn't notice or seem to care that we had different skin colors.

Children just need nurturing and loving adults in their life who are themselves kind and caring. With that they can grow up to be loving, responsible adults who are not prejudice or hateful. They are born with the willingness to be just that; all they need is the correct guidance of their caregivers. This would give us a chance to erase the hate that human-beings have toward each other. I still have hope that Peace and Tolerance is attainable IN MY LIFETIME. If not, I hope and pray that our children will be able to see it in theirs...but it must start with us adults. As a person who loves to observe the behaviors of people and how they interact in public, I appreciate and love when and how people of different races, religions, ethnics etc. be-friend, help and try to understand each other. It seems I have an eye for noticing such things. It is even more hopeful when I see children do it because it is truly pure and genuine. In a perfect world, I'd love that we all can be able to do this; as an adult I know that nothing is perfect but perhaps we can commit to attempting to understand each other...and then maybe- peace...well it might seem far-fetched, but I won't give up; for the sake of my own child, my students and all the children of the world.

2009-07-08T07:12:00.000-07:00

Work has been soooo busy, thats actually not a bad thing, but I've been M.I.A and falling behind in posting and reading blogs :( My google reader is over-flooded but just know that I'm always thinking of you and I'd love to stay connected with all of you on Twitter: MikasThoughts.
Visit and follow me here too. Always, Mika

A True Legend: MJ

2009-06-26T10:25:00.000-07:00

I absolutely adore Michael Jackson. I blast his music in my apartment as I dance around the living room on a regular basis. His death is a huge loss and such a big shock. It still has not hit me yet...Michael Jackson is dead? How? Why? He was so young, how could this happen? MJ is a legend and he will truly be missed. Saying he's an icon....is an understatement. I found out he was dead by word of mouth in the subway and in the 99cent store all within 5minutes! 3 random people stopped me and told me. If this is not evidence of his legendary status then I don't know what is.

My Top 5 favorite MJ/Jackson 5 songs...

5.Rock with you
4.Live life off the Wall
3.I'll be there
2.ABC
1. Heal The World

R.I.P MJ

Love, Mika

My Quarter Life Crisis: The Final Chapter

2009-06-17T08:19:00.000-07:00

Those Therapists and Doctors are ruthless...a day after my surgery the Doctors, about 8 of them came in my room examining me and taking notes. They lifted my leg to change the bandages as if my leg was plastic and not attached to my body AND as if I didn't have 50 staples keeping it together AND as if fresh blood wasn't still visible. They asked me if I had walked around yet- wtf??? Less than an hour later some woman comes in all cheery and happy like, "Hi Ms. Fryer, are you ready to walk"...once again, wtf??? The physical therapist taught me how to get out the bed safely and use crutches properly etc. She was really nice and sweet. It wasn't 5 minutes before I finished with her that a hyperactive Occupational Therapist came in. She had all these gadgets and sticks that were suppose to help me reach things that were high up. She also taught me how to use my wheelchair. I went home the next day...

It really hurts when your child is sick and you have to wait for someone else's assistance in order to help him. That was the most difficult thing for me when I was in a wheel-chair for 4months. Zion got sick and I could not take him to the doctor on my own so that meant waiting for his dad or grandmother to take him. As far as Im concerned, they were not moving fast enough for me. It was really difficult, I found myself crying and feeling helpless. I don't know why, but feelings of helplessness don't last long for me. It's probably because I am VERY ambitious, optimistic and some would say overly enthusiastic. It's just not in my nature to be sad for a long period of time.

My accident was very traumatic, from then up until now I have thoughts and dreams filled with worries. I'm scared something will happen to me again, perhaps something worse. My mind is very...how do you say? Well lets just say I have a very vivid and huge imagination. I am able to imagine the most unthinkable things. As I approach the anniversary of my accident my mind seems to be taking over me at times, to the point where I am scared to even think. The worse thing that could happen to me is, not being able to walk for good, since I am a very independent and mobile person. I always pray and give thanks to God that I am fine, healthy and have recovered from the accident and surgery. To be able to walk is a blessing. I have a new appreciation for my legs and can also sympathize with everyone who has a disability or suffered from a traumatic experience.

TODAYISABRANDNEWDAYANDIAMTHANKFULFOREVERYTHING

Last week I was shopping with my son. There was a young lady using crutches and she had on a leg brace, just like the one I had to wear while my knee was healing. She was having trouble trying to shop while keeping the pressure off her injury and managing the crutches. I helped her get a few things that were difficult for her to reach. She was very thankful that I had helped her. That was me one year ago, although I never came outside with my brace or crutches. In my opinion she is the most awesome girl ever, for not being afraid to face the world as I was. Had I never injured my knee, I wouldn't have noticed her. Probably would have walked by her as she struggled to reach a dress or pick up something off the floor. I now view the world differently, its almost as if I have a new set of eyes.

My Quarter Life Crisis (Part Three):

2009-06-10T18:24:00.000-07:00

All I wanted to do was go to a party and dance...just a week before I was dancing the night away in a lounge to songs like Danity Kanes, Damaged and Katy Perrys, I kissed a girl. As I lay in bed homebound I would daydream of dancing in a club to Chris Browns, Forever and Rihannas, Disturbia...all the while I was in pain physically and mentally...

Surgery is a motherfucker, I mean it is NO joke. I've been cut open before (when I gave birth to my son) but this time was different, perhaps because I knew I wouldnt be able to walk after, for 5 months.

*********************************************

New Yorkers are very kind people (thats not a joke, I happen to be one) :) when I fell off my bike many people came to my aid. I was offered water and asked over and over if I was okay. I was not...I couldn't move my right leg and even the slighest movement hurt so much that I wished I was dead. I thought it would be like the other times I fell off my bike; I'd laugh at myself get up and keep riding...not this time, I could not move. It was 2 weeks before I had the surgery on my knee, doctors said something about waiting for the swelling to go down.

Privacy means nothing when you are hospitalized, especially when you have an orthopedic injury because you depend on everyone to do everything for you. Not being able to take a shit in private really sucks...and while were on that subject...shit belongs in a toilet, I never got use to using a plastic bucket to poop. I made it my business to get to the bathroom, when I felt the urge. Although my mom is Awesome and has no problem cleaning my shit from a bucket with a smile on her face, I just couldn't do it. Yeah man, my mom is so cool like that...thanks mommy :)

TO BE CONTINUED:

Sorry guys, I'm having a bad case of writers block, been going on for a week. The last and Final Chapter of My Quarter Life Crisis is coming soon. ~Mika

My Quarter Life Crisis (Part Deux):

2009-06-09T09:44:00.001-07:00

(Current playlist [Chris Brown, Forever. Paramore, Thats what you get. Katy Perry, I kissed a girl. Rihanna, Disturbia]... is soooo related to My Quarter Life Crisis...brings back so many memories...don't know how I feel about that...)

So, that purple low-rider bike was for a girl in her early twenties and in my opinion I out grew it by the time I reached 23, It was time for something different...(I know some of you are thinking why is she talking about bikes? I thought this was suppose to be about a Quarter Life Crisis!) Just be patient I'm getting there. On a cold winter day I bought an orange bike, I was so desperate and determined to buy if before it sold out. This bike was light weight and could be easily stored because it folded up. I don't recall spending much time with this bike because my mom fell in love with it.

Eventually it became her bike.

I seriously don't know how that happened.

Last year in early June, I fell in love...I spotted this beautiful pink cruiser. Boy did I have plans for me and my new lover (aka the pink cruiser)... I would go riding everywhere throughout the summer and enjoy every moment of it. When I first rode this one it really felt like, 'love at first sight', if you will. Only it lasted much longer then 'love at first sight' usually does. I took it on a bike riding date, with "Larry" and how sweet that was. He's very athletic so he loved our bike riding dates. We would ride for like 2 hours and sometimes stop in a restaurant to eat in the outside sidewalk cafe.

I love to look fashionable while riding my bike, I think it's apart of he whole experience. My swagger has to be correct before I stepped outside with my bike. This particular Friday night was no different. Looking cute as ever I left my apartment with Larry, but this bike ride would be different from all the rest and changed my life forever...

My Quarter Life Crisis (Part One):

2009-06-08T14:45:00.000-07:00

I promised you guys that I would talk about this so, here we go. My anniversary is approaching, the anniversary of what I call my quarter life crisis. Last year, this month my entire world changed. I went from being an independent, mobile, business woman to basically having to depend on everyone in my life to do absolutely everything for me.

**********************************************************

I love riding bikes (don't worry, I'm not changing the topic). I learned to ride a bicycle quite late, I suppose- I was about 9 or 10 years old. I got my first bike around that time, I remember being so excited and eager to ride despite it being winter and about 3o degrees outside. My uncle (R.I.P- he was like a father figure) taught me how to ride AND recorded me while I learned, I still have it on VHS... some where in my archives. I was so overly enthusiastic and full of smiles as I got the hang of it. I kept calling him to focus the camera on me as I rode in circles in front of my childhood house located in Queens, NY. "Uncle Charles, look...look at me!"

Since then, I've had a love for bicycles. I love how free and liberating it feels to ride. I love how it is a form of exercise that is fun and not strenuous. I love how I am helping the environment by riding a bike. I've had a love for bikes before it was "eco-friendly" or 'green', as they say. Before regular folk began to copy the celebrities and ride because they said it was "cool". I bought my first bike in the summer of 02' for $3oo from 'Bicycle Habitat' a small bike shop in Soho. I even paid $85 dollars for the latest chain lock, so that no one could steal it when I chained it up outside (although it ended up getting stolen because I failed to chain it up 2 years later as I stopped in a cafe for a smoothie-ughhh). It was green and quite big, it was hard to lift alone. The first day I bought it, I went cruising with my bestfriend on the back, it was so much fun!

I miss that bike.

My next bicycle was a purple low-rider, I still have it in my apartment. This bike is so cool and use to get me so much attention. People would stop me just to take pictures of the bike and ask me a bunch of questions about it. Apparently, this bike and I were featured in a book and online article about "NYC females and their bikes". The day that I bought it, a guy ran up to me and asked if I wanted to be featured and I was like "ok, sure". He took a few pictures of me with my bike and said the book would be out in the next year, and it was. I've never seen it but a few of my students and friends told me that they saw it, as well as the online article. I have since given that bike away to my bestfriend but it's still here at my place. I adore that bike, but the seat is too low for me now!

TO BE CONTINUED...

A Stroll Through The City

2009-06-07T16:42:00.001-07:00

If I ever moved from New York City, days like today would truly be missed. I took one of my infamous strolls from my apartment on the LowerEastside through Chinatown, Little Italy and finally ended up in Soho then ventured back home via the same neighborhoods on a slightly different route. It is quite a lengthy walk (45 min to 1 hour) non-stop walking, but it doesnt feel so long. There is always something interesting to see or do and plus its great exercise! I also use this time to bond with my son as well as have teachable and memorable moments with him.

Theres no stench like NYC's Chinatown, it is awful to say the least and in many ways undescribable...but it doesnt bother the crowds of people who come there to buy seafood, supposedly its the best place to get it in New York. I spent 7 dollars on a chicken salad sandwich at Starbucks because my 3 year old insisted we eat there. I only ate half of the sandwich, the rest is still in my bag as we speak (note to self: put chicken sandwich in fridge before it rots). Knowing me I will probably forget and won't notice it to Wednesday or somethin. Yea, don't plan on eating it tonight, I wasn't thrilled with the taste, I've definitely had better. I think my former College cafeteria makes it the best thus far.

Once I got to Soho I randomly stumbled upon a band playing on an actual stage in one of Zion's favorite parks, right across the street from Pinkberry. They sounded and looked so good, I have no idea who they were, I think it was a relatively unknown group. Everyone looked as if they were enjoying the music, I sure was. I didn't stay long, I kept on my stroll as Zion drifted off to sleep in his stroller. Soho was crowded as usual with tourist carrying shopping bags and cameras, trying to capture the energy of New York City. I did a little shopping as Zion slept and by the time he awoke we were already in Little Italy heading back home. I really needed a bubble tea, (it's been a while) so we stopped in Chinatown for an Iced Lychee Green Tea. The cafe had no AC but the tea was so refreshing and cooled us down. At my son's request after 20minutes of sharing a tea we headed home.

On the corner of Mott and Canal street, a tourist stopped me for directions, she wanted to get to the Brooklyn Bridge so she and her family could walk over it (something I've never done before and should be ashamed of as a native New Yorker.) I directed her and still she went the wrong way... I'm sure she made it there. I felt so accomplished, I love giving accurate directions to people. 3 hours later I'm back home and my legs hurt from walking so much! I hope you all had a lovely weekend...have a great week!

Mika xoxo

(The Vacay) Yea...I'm different...So?!

2009-06-06T19:15:00.000-07:00

Dear Diary,

While on vacay I learned so much about myself and have once again convinced myself that I'm adopted. There is no way that I come from my family. I am sure many of you have felt like this before. Don't get me wrong the vacay was wonderful, no major family quarrels and shouting was at a minimum... but I just feel like I don't belong in my family. I have mentioned before that I march to my own beat and I will take it a bit further by saying, that I pretty much don't fit in anywhere; my circle of friends, co-workers, family, this entire world in general. I feel that everyone, including my family is always looking and thinking I'm weird or odd but to myself, I'm not. I mean, I know that I'm an unconventional thinker and I have a different way of doing absolutely everything, but I am not worthy of being called "weird". I haven't truly earned that name, yet. I feel like I can't do the most simple things without being questioned or looked at like I'm an alien.
Sometimes I hate being different, which I know is absolutely ludacris...for several reasons. There are many people who are trying so hard in many cases obviously, too hard to be different or warrant themselves as "unique" but how unique are you when you have to tell everyone, shouldn't that be obvious without having to say at all? With my family, there is so much love and affection and still I felt like a....stranger? outsider? are those the right words?
I remember sitting in the room with my auntie watching T.V as she asked me what seemed like a million scrutinizing questions. Why is your hair like that? Why are you wearing that? Why don't you do this? Well aunty, ( I wanted to say) there are no big, surprising answers to your questions, actually they are quite simple: I do this or that and whatever because well, I LIKE IT.
I can deal with that, but I hate when my parenting style is condemned or scrutinized. See me, I hate when children are scolded for "being children" or making mistakes that they have no idea are mistakes- because If they did, they wouldn't need us as parents. I am described as a passive or nonchalant mother which I think may be true to an extent. However, I feel that I just know how to REALLY love, care for and raise a child. In these 3.5 years of being a mother I learned what does and doesn't work and my nuturing and loving nature played a big part as well. In any event, I am all about letting my son and all children be free and play as they'd like as long as they are out of harms way. For me it's about preventing accidents and such things and if it does happen then well, you deal with it...but without the yelling, scolding, cussin and what I call unbearable, senseless acts of punishment. I'm sure you can imagine, what my family had to say about how I deal with my son.
I won't go there.
All I will say is that, I am proud of how he has turned out thus far and I know my parenting skills are wonderful. However, I did have to put certain people and their comments in regards to that in their place while on vacay.
Okay, now that I got that out of the way...My sister has my camera which have all the lovely vacay photos ( she stayed another week in Georgia-lucky her) Stay tuned for those pics and the stories of debauchery and fun that went along with them!

My Deepest Sympathy/Let Your Light Shine:

2009-06-04T08:22:00.001-07:00

While on vacay I heard of the Air France flight crash (thank you CNN breaking news updates via Twitter). I was so saddened and I still am. I would like to send my condolences to those who lost loved ones in the crash and to the entire nations of France and Brazil. This morning, I found myself feeling depressed after I read the latest information on yahoo news about the crash...

Today is my first day back at work from vacay and back to this blog after declaring I was back already (sorry) and I don't want to come back on a sad note. Sooooo, here are some positive and inspirational words.

Let Your Light Shine

OUR DEEPEST FEAR IS NOT that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; its in everyone. And when we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
by, Marianne Williamson
(from her book, A Return to love)

~Mika

I'm back!

2009-05-21T09:00:00.000-07:00

...And a year older and for some reason, ready to marry the first thing that comes my way. Is that normal? One minute I am fine and on top of the world...I mean dancing on tables, flirting with men, wearing mini skirts...the works! Then next think you know I'm feeling like an old woman. I ask again, is this normal???
Heres a brief update on my life:
Work is going well, I mean its awesome. I actually love going to work everyday and enjoy my job, I love helping people! :)
My son is great! Fully potty-trained (well except a few mishaps in the middle of the night-but an over zealous mom like myself has the right to forget about those, right)?
My love life, hmmm...I cannot sum this up in 1 sentence like the other updates but I will try, here it goes: (holds breath) In the past 30 days I went from being in love, to thinking I was gonna convert to another religion, get married TO realizing that I cannot stand this person at all and really we are just not compatible. (how was that)?
Now, my business endeavors- I didnt get as much done as I should have or wanted to BUT, I did get alot done you can see for yourself HERE. It's all a work in progress and I will continue to blog on the regular as I move forward with my online store.
Okay so,
I am looking for guest bloggers for my other blog (I have 3 all together) which is called MALI TO MEMPHIS. If anyone has any poems, stories etc surrounding themselves and their culture please contact me about writing for this particular blog. Its about all cultures coming together to RESPECT, CELEBRATE and APPRECIATE each other. I want to know about the cultural traditions with your race or ethnicity and religion and then we will share and celebrate it with the world through this blog. A friend of mine wrote the first guest post check it out here: www.malitomemphis.blogspot.com. Thanks!
I look forward to hearing from all of you.
~Mika xoxo

I know you miss me!

2009-04-19T11:42:00.000-07:00

And I miss you to. Lol. Hey guys! I know some of you are thinking I've been M.I.A and I have but...with good reason. Being the business woman a.k.a natural born hustler that I am, I started working on a new way to generate income. (I hope I see this bright idea through to completion-pray for me!)
I have a new blog...I know I'm crazy, as if I need another one! This one is all about fashion and it links to my online store, which is where I will be selling some of my precious and rare treasures including clothing, jewelry and shoes...mostly vintage. Everything is still under construction but I will be done in the next 2 weeks. I wanted you all to get a sneak-peak and be the first to become my followers. I have dreams of owning a few businesses one of them being a Boutique. Hope you like what I have begun, pray for me so that it can flourish into something bigger and better. Each day I am getting closer to my deadline of becoming a millionaire in 5 years! (I'm serious about that). So anyway, this is what has been keeping me from blogging much. However, I do read your blogs, forgive me for not commenting but rest assured, I am like a sponge absorbing all your words and inspirations.

In other news, I finally got to see a live show last night. I have not seen a band jam it up in a long while so, I saw this band and they were totally awesome. Here's more. It's 9 brothers playing brass instruments, they are so talented. I didn't stay the entire show because after a while it starts to sound like annoying noise to me...I know...I'm an old lady!!! Anyway it was awesome. They are all so handsome...I wanna marry them! I'm kinda mad I didn't stay til the end for some groupie love, well maybe next time. After that I went to Pinkberry, I love that place, ate some green tea flavored frozen yogurt, then headed to a friends house with a bottle of red wine. The night couldn't have been better. I will be taking a little break from this blog just give me about 3 to 4 weeks, sorry guys. I will definitely be back. Don't forget me. I love you all!!!

2006: A Reflection on Motherhood

2009-04-05T17:25:00.000-07:00

Motherhood was so new but our Love was getting old. Feelings of sadness as I brought my baby home from the hospital...it was hard to be happy knowing he didn't love me anymore. Well, at least thats how I felt. A new mother, feeling scattered and un-loved, I tried my best. The first 6 months was confusing, being a mother is hard work! Everytime I thought I had the hang of it, I quickly realized that I didn't. One night, I rushed to the emergency room, because he would not stop crying, thats when I realized it will only get harder. Somehow and rather quickly, love took a backseat and I focused on my son.

I don't know how it happen, it just did. I vowed to be the best mother I could and I encouraged him to be the best father...or else. Actually, so much has changed in these 3 years but one thing that never changed is how good of a father he is. Everything that I did was for my sons sake and it gave me a reason to live--otherwise I would have gave up long ago...

FLASHBACK 2003...age 20- I was so bored with life, feeling like I had nothing to look foward to. I remember a conversation I had with my bestfriend where we discussed how we felt about our life. Nothing to look forward to, not happy, kinda suicidal- we were a mess. We came to the conclusion that we probably needed counseling. I never did go.

At age 23 the year 2006, I finally had a reason to live. Zion Malik. Zion meaning "heaven" or an "ideal" place and Malik meaning "king" in arabic. I went back to work rather quickly and felt guilty for doing so. The summer of 2006 I didn't work, I gave him all my attention...I went out when I could and was getting use to managing motherhood and a social life.
It started getting easier as winter of 2006 approached. I loved how I always had someone to look forward to when I came home each day. Someone who depended on me and would never disappoint me. I was in love again.

Thoughts In My Head At Work:

2009-03-31T07:52:00.000-07:00

It's Tuesday. I'm at work. Bored. My French Vanilla Ice Coffee half-way done.

I've checked my email twice already. I really need to reply to emails and read a few blogs that I have bookmarked but i'll do that later.

I wish I were somewhere else... (If only I had secret powers).

My 27th birthday is approaching and I'm scared. I mean I'm fucking paranoid. Am I mature enough to be almost 30? I honestly feel like I'm a little baby. Many older folks have agreed, not in terms of my maturity level but more so for my actual age. When I think about it, 27 is a baby compared to a 45 year old.

My quarter life crisis began last year. (I will tell you more about that in another entry- I promise). I hadn't been 26 for even a good month then suddenly my life was flipped upside down. Now, it seems my quarter life crisis wont end...I feel like it's gonna continue until I meet my mid-life crisis.

I don't even feel like I enjoyed being 26, so I'm trying to make up for lost time and it doesn't help that 26 is almost gone. I use to be in denial about my age but now I'm not hiding from it. I lie about my age less than before and in some ways I'm looking forward to my 30's. Maybe I am overreacting or just too paranoid. Nonetheless, I think it's good for me to be exploring all these thoughts and feelings... but for the time being let me get back to work.

I just had to do it...

2009-03-29T10:22:00.001-07:00

I feel compelled to write today. See this is not the usual time that I blog, although I don't have a schedule of when I blog it seems that its always at night when my day has ended.

I thought I stopped trying to save the world long ago. I thought I convinced myself that ignorance is inevitable. I thought I could just ignore ignorant folks. For so long I was doing well. Well I had a relapse.

I stooped down to ingnorance's level. I argued with a stupid person. Ohhhh how it felt so good to do that...

At the moment...

2009-03-23T12:29:00.001-07:00

It's 1:15 am.

My mind is wondering and wandering.

Just woke up from what was suppose to be an hour nap (lasted 4 hours).

WONDERING:
I thought Winter left New York City and Spring was here, but the temperature for the past few days makes me realize that no matter what my calendar says, Spring hasn't sprung.

WANDERING:
My hair is a mess...

And I don't care enough to make it presentable by the time my work day begins. I'm so tired of worrying about my hair, I'm at one of those frequent moments in my life when I wish I could be invisible for a day just because I don't feel like combing my hair.
This world is so tough. I wanna scream.
I'm being ungrateful, (grow-up girl).
Okay, just give me a minute to throw a silent temper-tantrum. I need this moment.

I'M BACK

My crush...
Is no longer a crush. I met him. He has a thing about being punctual and I have a problem with "chronic lateness". Not good.
I was late, he wasn't thrilled.
The roses were beautiful, 6 red and 6 white.
In the Starbucks we...drank tea, talked, laughed and played with our Blackberry's a little...those things are great for akward silence.
That story ends there.
Would like to move on now.

My Blog-Crush!

2009-03-16T07:26:00.001-07:00

I think my Blog-crush knows! It's kinda obvious anyway (hehe). I feel so childish and silly though.I have been thinking about everything alot. I really just want to let him know and I will very soon, actually before the week is done. I need to do it before I burst open and most importantly before this gets old and corny.I would just love to be his friend. Friendship is the most important and exciting aspect of life to me. It consists of so many things: laughing, talking, dreaming, dancing...I want to do all those things with him. (*sigh*) I truly haven't had a crush since 7th grade but I guess this online thing leaves so much room for that. If I had things my way we would spend alot of time together, nothing serious or romantic...just quality time.In a perfect world I imagine that he won't think I'm the most silly and immature creature on earth and actually consider being my friend IN REAL LIFE. Any advice???

Dear Blog-Crush,

2009-03-14T19:20:00.000-07:00

Will you marry me?

Yes_____

No_____

Maybe_____

(Check one)

Love, Mika

My First Blog-Crush!

2009-03-13T15:58:00.000-07:00

Yes it's true. I have a Blog-Crush. I feel so silly and a little embaressed. It's cute though. Someone asked me what do I like about you...the first thing that came to mind is that you are mature and intelligent.
I hope I am allowed to have this crush considering I'm damn near 30...26 to be exact AND this is Blogville, located on the Internet---the most mysterious and anonymous place on earth. Knowing all that it still feels good and somehow I am not ashamed. After all, it's just a crush. I want to keep crushing on him, until it's time to reveal! I wonder how long this will go on, I guess as long as I can keep my mouth shut--which I am not good at when it comes to things like this. It was today that I finally admitted to myself about my crush, I don't think I was in denial...It's just that I hadn't yet realized it was a crush. What is a crush anyway? Well, I call this a crush because I secretly think he's cute, I secretly like him and I think about him often. I like him even more when I read typos in his blog...now that's a real crush!

Note To Self: And the World.

2009-03-07T21:53:00.000-08:00

Dream big. We are living in a world where a regular 9-5 is simply not good enough, even if you have a college degree. Use your talents to survive in this world. There is nothing wrong with having a side hustle. Remember that business you always wanted to open? Start small, but dream big- it's possible. Use the current financial crisis as a stepping stone to bigger and better things. Everyone has dreams, I know..but it is time to take it to another level. Be active, get up and do what you always wanted to. Sadly, not even a Bachelors degree seems good enough these days, further your education. Make a way...there is always a way-never forget that.

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry uplike a raisin in the sun?Or fester like a sore--And then run?Does it stink like rotten meat?Or crust and sugar over--like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?
-Langston Hughes

Disappointment Part 2

2009-03-02T15:52:00.000-08:00

As I lay in bed last night trying to sleep Disappointment came to me again!!! This was after I wrote the "Disappointment Blog" She told me many things, here's what I can remember :

My lovely Mika,

Pretty, Intelligent and ever so Adequate.
I am grounded in the ways of a tree that has been planted.
I will blossom and continue on a path
That produces sadness, worry and pain.
Now, First things first
You are not cursed and to be quite frank, it would be in your favor to stop blaming your problems on other people and things. If you are cursed then all those around you are cursed as well. I creep into the lives of everyone and what you are feeling they all have felt or will feel over and over again.
Remember when love was sweet and life was fine? I, Disappointment was not far behind. It was only when love left you feeling empty and life felt even emptier that you noticed my presence.
Depression can not be avoided, but you are not incompetent and UGLY??? Girlfriend, I don't even have to mention.
Like the clouds I will forever be in the sky, Like rain I will always return and just as the rivers run freely, I am free to move, live and breathe.
Mika, like you I have the power to be myself and then change to become something else if I please. I am comfortable with being me and like you- I know I can only control my actions.
From now on, I suggest you learn how to co-exist in this world with me and cope with the sadness or pain I may bring. You know how you cope with the violence in your world... hate and prejudice? Think of me as that, somehow you have gotten this far in their midst so my dear, a brief moment of disappointment won't kill you...it will only make you... (and I jumped out of my sleep and mumbled stronger)
Mika, before I go I will tell you one more thing, There is nothing wrong with patience but don't ever wait for anything to come to you because as you have seen before it may become too late.

Disapointment Again

2009-03-01T20:44:00.000-08:00

Disappointment again.

It seems I can never get away from you

As soon as my step seems firm

Confidence blossoming-

I find myself feeling

UGLY,

Again

DEPRESSED,

Again

INCOMPETENT,

Again

Now I'm feeling like love is just a game that I keep losing

And maybe it's just my fault

Cuz I haven't learned my lesson

And all that has happened I deserve

Disappointment I hate you

You actually have me convinced

That I am cursed

Because of You, I believe that I am unworthy

I have learned to live with knowing I am inadequate

Not good enough

Not smart enough

Not pretty enough

Just barely enough to play with

To disappoint- Time and Time Again

Ha! I already know how tomorrow will be

I will walk down the street in Fake Confidence

Greet the world with a Fake Smile

And almost make it home to stop Faking long enough to be a good mother

This is an everlasting curse

Disappointment never dies

It is full of You

Who didn't care ...

I waited for you

I waited for you

I waited for you

I'm still waiting but I know better

Disappointment doesn't care or have mercy

Craig's List: Part 1

2009-02-24T21:52:00.000-08:00

Why have I been hanging out on Craigs List lately? I find myself watching the posts daily as if it's the Stock Market.
Are there really responsible and decent people (or anything close) online in search of love???

Rhetorical Question.

I love the "Strictly Platonic" section. It's full of people who give me my share of laughs each day. Thanks guys.

When did platonic relationships include sex...friends with benefits?
I really need an answer for that one.
Oh and there is an abbreviation for it that seems to be accepted by the world of Craig's listers: FWB.

My favorite posts are from people who are just looking to "hang out" or "chill" (they won't dare use the word "date") with other's immediately after work:

Hookah bar tonight anyone?
Looking for a lovely lady for drinks tonight...
And my favorite- My date for tonight cancelled on me...are you free?

My friend and I were joking about how she has had a series of "online relationships" that lasted for no more than 1 week at a time. They meet on Craigs List, Chat on Gmail, Then somehow break-up, yes without ever meeting in person.
We actually plan on meeting someone this weekend, should be interesting. Ha! I will keep you posted.

Phyllis Wheatley

2009-02-17T20:45:00.000-08:00

To a LADY on her coming to North-America with her Son, for the Recovery of her Health.INDULGENT muse! my grov'ling mind inspire,And fill my bosom with celestial fire.See from Jamaica's fervid shore she moves,Like the fair mother of the blooming loves,When from above the Goddess with her handFans the soft breeze, and lights upon the land;Thus she on Neptune's wat'ry realm reclin'dAppear'd, and thus invites the ling'ring wind. "Arise, ye winds, America explore,"Waft me, ye gales, from this malignant shore;"The Northern milder climes I long to greet,"There hope that health will my arrival meet."Soon as she spoke in my ideal viewThe winds assented, and the vessel flew. Madam, your spouse bereft of wife and son,In the grove's dark recesses pours his moan;Each branch, wide-spreading to the ambient sky,Forgets its verdure, and submits to die. From thence I turn, and leave the sultry plain,And swift pursue thy passage o'er the main:The ship arrives before the fav'ring wind,And makes the Philadelphian port assign'd,Thence I attend you to Bostonia's arms,Where gen'rous friendship ev'ry bosom warms:Thrice welcome here! may health revive again,Bloom on thy cheek, and bound in ev'ry vein!Then back return to gladden ev'ry heart,And give your spouse his soul's far dearer part,Receiv'd again with what a sweet surprise,The tear in transport starting from his eyes!While his attendant son with blooming graceSprings to his father's ever dear embrace.With shouts of joy Jamaica's rocks resound,With shouts of joy the country rings around.

Happy Black History Month!

2009-02-12T03:58:00.000-08:00

PHENOMENAL WOMAN
by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my steps
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please
And to a man
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me
A hive of honey bees.
I say
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The ride of my breasts
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say
It's in the click of my heels
The bend of my hair
The palm of my hand
The need of my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Happy Black History Month!

2009-02-08T11:06:00.000-08:00

We're already 8 days into Black History Month and I have yet to began reading a "black history-oriented book". Every year I promise myself I will read as many I can throughout the month of February but it's been a long while since I've actually done it. I hate to use the excuse of being too busy because actually, I have a lot of free time. I guess I could delve into my "tea time" or "spending countless hours researching random stuff on Wikipedia time". In the meantime I will share a few of my favorite poems by African-Americans with you.

NEGRO SPEAKS OF RIVERS

I've known rivers:
I've known rivers ancient as the world and older than the
flow of human blood in human rivers
My soul has grown deep like rivers.

I bathed in the Euphrates when dawns were young
I built my hut near the Congo and it lulled me to sleep.
I looked upon the Nile and raised the pyramids above it.
I heard the singing of the Mississippi when Abe Lincoln
went down to New Orleans, and I've seen it's muddy
bosom turn all golden in the sunset

I've known rivers:
Ancient dusky rivers,

My soul has grown deep like rivers.

-Langston Hughes

2009-01-22T21:29:00.000-08:00

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

-Langston Hughes

Change has come to America!

2009-01-21T13:09:00.000-08:00

Am I dreaming? Did I actually watch a black man become the President of the United States of America? I have never been so proud to be from this country. I loved President Obama's Inauguration Speech, here are a few of my favorite and most memorable words he spoke:

"We gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord."

"What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly. This is the price and the promise of citizenship."

"It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate."

"To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect."

AND MY FAVORITE PART OF THE SPEECH:

"To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West, know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy."

"...We are willing to extend our hand if you are willing to unclench your fists."

"...Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and begin again the work of remaking America..."

-AMAZING!!! Congratulations Mr. President!

Happy Martin Luther King Day!

2009-01-19T11:55:00.000-08:00

...I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."

This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.

With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:

My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.

Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride,

From every mountainside, let freedom ring!

And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true.

And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire.

Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.

Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania.

Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado.

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California.

But not only that:

Let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia.

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi.

From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:

Free at last! Free at last!

Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!

Peace is the Way...

2009-01-04T00:43:00.000-08:00

I hate to start out the New Year like this but this is what is going on in the world we live in...and I must address it because that is what I do.
It's very unfortunate to witness what is going on in Israel right now, I am sure there has to be another way to resolve the crisis. I know this fighting has been on-going but at the moment it is very heartbreaking to watch CNN and the local news. Civilians and children who don't understand the politics of what is going on are being affected. Most of the people being severely wounded and killed are women and children. Tonight on my local news there was a child as young as 4months old who was in critical condition from one of the blast. It's so heart wrenching and painful to watch.
I have a position on this crisis in Israel; I'd like to say I'm impartial... but at the moment I am in favor of Palestine. In my opinion, they are not the Protagonist and are suffering the most.
Long ago, I set out to understand the entire conflict and it all comes down to the Jews and Muslims fighting over this land that each of them feels has been left to them. According to my sources it does not belong to either of them.
I am not oblivious to the fighting that is going on in other parts of the world, in fact I am very aware of it-Sudan, Nigeria the list goes on...and nothing takes precedent over the other in my mind. All of it is so sad.
A Palestinian compared what is going on at the moment as "A Holocaust". As a black American woman I find myself comparing war between races, ethnic groups, countries and religions as the racism and segregation that went on in America in the past. The images of a black man being brutally beaten and then hung from a tree is no different from the slaying of Palestinians...or even Iraqis, Sudanese etc. Ralph Bunche, a black American is a former United Nations undersecretary and Chief Mediator in Palestine, and is responsible for many successful peace-keeping agreements around the world. He actually negotiated the first Arab-Israeli truce in 1948. Like Bunche, I know that peaceful agreements can be made in Israel and elsewhere.
Like him I am also optimistic that we can successfully come to agreements in this world without war or fighting.
Is it too naive of me to believe in peace? I so believe that Peace is achievable. After the genocide in Rwanda many of the natives have forgiven each other for killing people of their tribe and family; including parents, children husband and wives. After all that fighting and brutal killing they live and work among each other Peacefully. I think this is a testament of what the human race is capable of doing. If we could all think rationally peace agreements could be made however, it seems that everyone is so greedy and after their own satisfaction. We need to think about the regular citizens who are being affected in these situations. I can empathize with the Palestinian and Israeli people and I truly feel for them.

For further reading, The Arab-Israeli Dispute by, Don Peretz,
Peace is the Way by, Deepak Chopra

For more information about Ralph Bunche,
http://www.pbs.org/ralphbunche/peacemaker.html

2008-12-27T23:47:00.001-08:00

I'm so excited about my New Years Eve Party...
"A Night of Elegance"
I will be sure to post pictures for you. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Monday Blues:Lonely City

2008-12-22T02:20:00.000-08:00

There's something about this city that is so lonely and many times I feel invisible. As I walk down the street no one notices and the tear falling down my cheek is ignored by those who I think are staring at me. This huge city and still not a single soul to talk to or identify with, yet we are all feeling the same way. The invisible souls of New York City wonder aimlessly and a million tears fall each day. As the sun goes down, we all get scared because the night makes us even more invisible. Somehow we feel stuck here because we ourselves don't want to leave and can't imagine living anywhere else. As the weekend approaches and the city streets fill with mostly twenty-something's-- for a split second I don't feel so invisible. I notice that all eyes are on me and think to myself; I will die in this city...this moment of bliss outweighs all that I was feeling before. It is Friday night!

Many hours pass... it's Monday morning... and I feel lonely again.

Merry Christmas!
Happy Hanukkah!
Happy Kwanzaa!

2008-12-11T11:36:00.000-08:00

This time of year can be so lovely and exciting but then there is always the depressing aspect of it which has become quite real for me this year, because of the terrible state of the economy. Two days ago I was walking through "Little Italy", a small neighborhood of Manhattan with Italian owned businesses and restaurants. This is a place in which on any given day of the week the restaurants are over-crowded with tourists and locals especially during the Holiday season however, it was empty. Myself and my best friend and her boyfriend were solicited by sexy Italian men or those with striking looks, dark skin and dark hair who could pull off the accent, asking us to come in and have a nice dinner. My friends boyfriend informed us that the guy standing outside of "Casablanca" restaurant was actually Albanian and definitely not Italian.
We made it to my favorite store- a 99cent/discount store. By the way I absolutely love 99cent stores and I can't walk by 1 without stopping in, I really find myself feeling guilty if I don't go in. At this particular store they sell costume jewelry for cheap, I bought 3 pairs of earrings that I would probably never wear. I just love looking at them, they make me happy, its like Art. Also, I've convinced myself that I am saving them all for my future daughters. The pieces I collect are beautiful, rare and unique, I assume that I can sell them in the future as well.

December 20, 2008

.....Speaking of depression, the snow is falling in New York and I am remembering the times when cold weather made me depressed. I use to hate winter and my attitude changed as the season changed from fall to winter and the temperature dropped to the teens and then to below 0 degrees. These days, winter is still not my favorite season and I never wish for snow but I've learned to appreciate it. I think it's mostly for my son's sake, who at the age of 3 enjoys playing in the snow. I wonder how long it will be before this snow disappears...I heard it may snow again tomorrow...I don't know how I feel about that. As I sit in my high-rise apartment I can see the roof of the adjacent building, it is covered with snow. Nature is a wonderful thing...Science is ironic...Life is unexplainable and all 3 of them mean so much to me in their own way.
The only light in my apartment right now is coming from my white Christmas tree, which I bought for 7bucks earlier this week. All the ornaments are gold and red and I have yet to put some kind of star on it. I can't seem to find 1 that will look good. People think I'm weird because I keep the lighting in my place dim and I cannot stand bright lights. However, they don't understand this is very therapeutic for me, low lights help me function and think better. Also it's very romantic--like the blueberry scented candle that is burning right now. Hmmmmmm... Christmas is in just...wait...I had to check my calendar 5 MORE DAYS!!! I can't believe this. I'm prepared though...I think. Why does it always seem to sneak up on me? I feel like there is never enough time that leads up to Christmas Day. The best part of Christmas and every other Holiday is the anticipation, I love that. The best aspect of life, I believe is the anticipation factor, once you've conquered your goal, the only thing left to do is enjoy it... but I always find that when the novelty wears off I need something else to look forward to and anticipate...

New Years Eve Party!

2008-12-10T21:40:00.000-08:00

Mika Presents...

"A Night of Elegance"

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

9pm-until it's illegal

This is only for the Grown & Sexy...No Hood Rats allowed!

Contact me for more information: sweetfryer@gmail.com
***************************************************

So, tonight I had a few friends and close family members come over my place to sample drinks. See- I will be
having signature drinks at my New Years Eve Party this year. It includes 12 drinks with cute and clever names
I created. Tonight we had the "Team Hillary" and "The Agile Obama". I don't want to give away the details
of what liquors are in each because I want you all to be surprised when you come to the party. Now, just a
friendly reminder for those of you who are attending...remember the theme is "A Night of Elegance"- wear
something sexy, mature, glamorous, fancy, sophisticated . Lastly, think outside the box and wear something
you would probably never wear. I am looking forward to dancing, drinking, eating , having fun and making-out
passionately with all of you!

Love...

2008-11-10T13:53:00.000-08:00

(Winter in New York City is approaching...)

Words of Love...

Love is a fruit in season at all times, and within reach of every hand -Mother Teresa

Love is something that begins when nothing is looked for in return...

Love is not gazing at each other, but looking outward together in the same direction

-Antoine de Sait-Exupery

Love is a game that two can play and both win -Eva Gabor

Love is that which can be divided endlessly and still not diminish -Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Love is proud of itself. It leaks out of us even with the tighest of security. -Merrit Malloy

LOVE IS EASY TO UNDERSTAND WHEN IT'S LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT. IT'S WHEN TWO PEOPLE HAVE BEEN LOOKING AT EACH OTHER FOR YEARS THAT IT BECOMES A MIRACLE. -Sam Levenson

Love is a great beautifier -Louisa May Alcott

Love is not what makes the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
-Franklin P. Jones

Love is insanity with a collaborator -Unknown

Love is the only true adventure -Nikki Giovanni

LOVE IS TO ADMIRE WITH THE HEART; TO ADMIRE IS TO LOVE WITH THE MIND - Theophile Gautier

Attention: Black Women!

2008-11-04T17:48:00.000-08:00

(Election Day in America!)

In 2005, 69.9 percent of black women who gave birth were unmarried. The number was 48 percent for Hispanic mothers and 25 percent for white moms. (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention)

It saddens me that this is at such an alarming rate, back in the 1980s, a theory began to circulate that there was a black-men shortage. Women became so eager to have a relationship and children that they were willing to accept less than the "white picket fence" and marriage.
The media hype was incessant: Black men were either in prison or dying early. I've read that women, conditioned by those stories, began to think it was normal to share what men were still around, with several other women. As a result, black men knew that they were in demand. There's no sense of responsibility, remorse, or understanding of the long-term impact on the innocent kids that are being born. I've heard the excuse that black men don't get married because they don't make enough money. (LOL!!!) There are lawyers who represent men in child support cases that make $50,000 to $60,000 a year working for UPS or as a corrections officer. Somehow, their thinking is that marriage isn't something they need to do right now. They're afraid of the permanency of marriage. That's ridiculous.
Women, meanwhile, eventually realize they've been taken advantage of and are embittered by the men who feel they can come and go, and are using child support to get back at the guys. In a lot of cases, they need it—but some don't...which is another issue in itself-many mother's may not let the child visit his father, we see this too often in the black community.

If couples would only wait before having unprotected sex it would make a significant difference. If ladies would just date the man and get to know them—how do they think and deal with their own mother, is he responsible, all those things you really need time to uncover—then that percentage of out-of-wedlock births would go down. I am really hoping it goes down and not up, if not then very soon, 3 out of 4 black women in America will have children without being married. Each time I think about it...I feel sad. Many ladies who are having problems with their partners at this moment could've easily been prevented if they'd only waited before having sex and ultimately having kids.
With Latino and White ladies— it's a different story. WHY??? It seems to me that the fundamental reason is that the black community is lacking culture and responsibility. There are too many stories of young black woman who don't even know her "baby daddy's" (I hate those words) full name, address, or where he works, let alone his date of birth or Social Security number...which makes getting child support from him nearly impossible. We must get back to the business of planning out relationships, MARRIAGE, and then children.

I'm not a Feminist!

2008-11-01T12:32:00.000-07:00

Alot of people think that to be "pro-female" you have to be "anti-everything else". I'm not like that! I like being home. I enjoy cooking. I love decorating. I love children and I am like the most Feminine woman you will ever know but I AM NOT A FEMINIST! Too many people have accused me of being a feminist in an insulting manner. There is nothing wrong with being a Feminist and I respect them, but that is just not my thing.

Some Reasons I have been called a Feminist:

1. I am quick to take a women's side in any situation.

2. I can turn down a man's advances even if he is smooth and hot.

3. I am not submissive and obedient at all times.

Now, let me clear some things up:

1. Contrary to many peoples beliefs, I don't hate men! Men are cool.

2. I do not believe that women are better than men and vice versa.

3. I don't believe that men and women are equal either.

I'm not a Feminist-for real! I'm just Mika...and thats very complicated.

Why Black Men Cheat...

2008-10-27T17:16:00.000-07:00

How many Black men say they’ve never cheated on a partner? Does he use a condom when he steps out on you? Where did he meet the other woman? In an unprecedented exploration of male infidelity, ESSENCE magazine polled almost 25,000 Black men and women to get the answers to these questions and more. Here, the top ten most shocking stats our survey revealed:

WILL HE CHEAT?Almost 70% of brothers think it’s possible for Black men to be monogamous. But only 35% of them say they’ve never cheated on a partner. SAFE SEX ALERT!53% of men and 41% of women say they “only sometimes” or “never” use protection when they cheat on their partner.

THE OTHER WOMEN If your partner is cheating on you, chances are he’s juggling more than one woman! We asked unfaithful men how many women they’re currently involved with outside of their primary relationship. Here’s what they told us:ONE WOMAN 47%

TWO TO FIVE-46%

MORE THAN FIVE-7%

TROUBLING FATHER FIGURES More than 50% of men and women who responded to our survey say their fathers cheated.

WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER CHEATING?One in four men thinks having an intimate phone call with someone outside the relationship is okay. Only one in six women agrees.

WHERE DO MEN MEET THE OTHER WOMAN? Respondents listed every location you could think of—including places that he goes with you:online. . .at the club. . .at church. . .on vacation . . at a party with my wife. . .at the grocery store. . .at a ball game. . . on the train. . .at my child’s football practice . . .while sitting in traffic. . .at my job. . .while we were both patients in the hospital.

NEVER CAN SAY GOODBYE Women are almost twice as likely as men to stay with their partner for more than a year after finding out he’s cheated.

WAS IT JUST SEX?Coupled men and women admitted to being unfaithful in other ways than having intercourse with someone. 31% of men and 21% of women kissed someone other than their partner.28% of men and 16% of women fondled someone else.And 40% of men along with 30% of women had an intimate phone call or conversation with another person.

WHY HE CHEATS Men were more than twice as likely as women to cite physical attraction as the number one reason for being unfaithful.Women, on the other hand, are nearly three times as likely as men to step out on their partners as revenge for being cheated on.

HOW DID CHEATERS GET CAUGHT?27% of men who’ve stepped out said they were busted by their partner’s snooping.17% said they confessed. Some men said they were just plain sloppy:“I gave her an STD.”“She found a hickey on my neck.”“I left the condom wrapper in my pocket and it came out in the wash.”“I got a text message from the other woman while my girl was using my phone.

I'm not a Feminist!(Coming Soon)

2008-10-26T15:33:00.000-07:00

...Nor am I a "Mother Theresa wannabe".

More Names...

2008-10-16T15:18:00.000-07:00

Justice,Christian,Gem
Warner,Elisha,Inger,
Fergie,Cassidy,Arren,Jael,
Chance,Jamie,Zane,Harper,
Zamir,Aubrey,Codie,Harley,
Carlin,Cameron,Carson,Jodie,
Indy,Easter,Ash,Emery,
Eden,Frankie,Zale,Karam

Unisex Names...

2008-10-15T20:17:00.000-07:00

Mood: Not very good, have a headache from thinking too much, kinda disappointed as well because I was under the impression that today was Saturday.

As I rode the bus today my mind started to wonder -as it always does... and I began to challenge myself...I wanted to see how many Unisex names I could think of. I really started to think hard and long about this. I got frustrated at one point because my mind went blank. I refuse to search online for ideas and I have given myself 24 hours to think of 200 names, that can be used for a boy or girl. Just incase anyone actually cares, so far I have 50 names:

1Rene

2Tony

3Shawn

4Domonique

5Harris

6Ryan

7Dawn

8Charlie

9Jude

10Addison

11Erin

12Alexis

13Andy

14Angel

15Dakota

16Berkeley

17Billie

18Bobbi

19Blair

20Blake

21Valentine

22Berkeley

23Bryn

24Terry

25Jackie

26Tracy

27Jayden

28Jesse

29Price

30Jermain

31Pat

32Zaire

33Zion

34Gayle

35Glen

36Lashawn

37Lacey

38Gerry

39Lindsey

40Logan

41Lee

42Madison

43Harper

44Harlow

45 Mackenzie

46Robyn

47Caden

48Kasey

49Dallas

50Shannon

In other news... today was a weird day. It's Wednesday but it felt like Saturday-did that ever happen to you? So, I was all ready with my snack (chocolate cookies and a glass of milk) to sit down and watch "America's Most Wanted" at 9pm on Fox 5. I was highly disappointed when some srcipted "Reality" show came on. I ended up washing dishes and taking 3 sleeping pills which have already started to kick in, but I was determined to think of 50 Unisex names. Oh Shelby, Sidney, Gene and Paige are 4 more. I think that makes 54 names total for now. Im off to bed...Goodnite

Funny! Pass it on to others...

2008-10-14T21:07:00.000-07:00

Mom comes to visit her son Okonkwo for dinner...who lives with a female roommate Ada... During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Okonkwo's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact,she started to wonder if there was more between Okonkwo and hisroommate than met the eye. Reading his moms thoughts, Okonkwo volunteered," I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Ada and I, are just roommates." About a week later, Ada came to Okonkwo saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the Gari. You don't suppose she took it, do you? Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure" said Okonkwo. So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mother, I 'm not saying that you did take the bag of Gari from my house, and I 'm not saying that you did not take the Gari. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Do you know what became of the Gari?
Love, Okonkwo.
Several days later, Okonkwo received an email from his Mother, which read:
My dear Son, I 'm not saying that you do sleep with Ada, and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with Ada. But the fact remains that if she had been sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the bag of Gari under her pillow by now!!!!

I need therapy...

2008-10-14T19:39:00.000-07:00

Dear Diary,

Yesterday, I tried to schedule an appointment with a psychologist and they put me on hold for over 15 minutes. Before I called I was feeling very depressed and by the time I hung up I was depressed and suicidal. Today, I called again- after being on hold for 15 minutes the receptionist scheduled an appointment for me that is 4 weeks from today. I don't think I will be able to wait that long, I NEED TO SPEAK TO A THERAPIST NOW. I want to talk about my problems, I need someone to listen to me. You see there's this boy that I really love and I want to marry but he is so far from me. I spend all night and all day thinking of him. I imagine myself being with him for the rest of my life but I don't know how to make it happen. I mean I know how, but I need someone to tell me it's ok. I need somebody to tell me what I already know. I need somebody to listen to me from a non-judgemental point of view and even if they are judging me, they don't really know me so it doesn't matter- right? Well, I've convinced myself already.
I want my therapist to be a white woman or a gay man...I don't know how to explain it but, I feel most comfortable with them. I promised myself I will not lie to my therapist because they always seem to know when you are lying and then I feel so guilty. I have to be honest and get everything off my mind. Love is sooooo sweet but soooooo bitter at times and lately it has been more bitter than sweet. I want to be with this guy but there are so many obstacles in the way.
When I meet with my therapist I'm gonna tell her everything that has been on my mind, how I'm madly in love and I want to be near the man of my dreams. How I can't cope without him and I've been feeling extremely depressed lately. Everyone keeps telling me that black people don't go to see psychologists and all we need is church to heal our problems...but it is the only thing that will make me feel better.

Goodnite and sweetdreams,
Mika

"As you like it" by, Mika

2008-10-09T17:47:00.000-07:00

"All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players:

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts".

http://www.artofeurope.com/shakespeare/sha9.htm (click to read the entire monologue from William Shakespeare's "As you like it".

So, this is 1 of my favorite lines in the world. Isn't the WORLD a stage...isn't LIFE a stage?! Check this out- each day we wake up take a shower, brush our teeth and put on our best so that we can face the world. If you're a woman it can take much more to get ready for the "stage". We apply make-up, do our hair, spend hours in the mirror and only God knows what else. All this, for what? Now you can lie and say it's for your own satisfaction but, ladies and gentleman let's keep it real-most of it is because you want to look good for the world. The world is always watching even when we don't realize it. That is why we want to make sure we look good, just in case the papparazi happens to see us. Since all the world's a stage let's enjoy every moment, let's make everything we do a full-out production! When we interact with other's lets make it worthwhile and always be sure that whatever you are doing is not hurting another person.

In the midst of your adventures, enjoyment and fun just remember, we are just "players" in this world and by no means are we permanent fixtures, we are in essence very temporary-I am sure you all know this by now. I think we can all agree on that...

Now for the best part... the latter of the line which is "AND ONE MAN IN HIS TIME PLAYS MANY PARTS". Everyone has stages they go through, parts or characters they play at different times or events in their life. Since Shakespeare says the acts include seven ages, I'm gonna explain the most important parts I have played in my life:

ACT 1 (first age)

When I was born, I looooooved to be breastfed, I could be on my mama's breast for 10 hours straight. My mom says, I am the reason why her breast are flat as pancakes, today. According to Sigmund Freud (the greatest psychologist extraordinaire)! I had an oral fixation, which I never seemed to get rid of.

ACT 2 (second age)

In elementary school I was more than the Teachers pet, I was given the name "Principal's Pet" During recess I would stay back and help my teacher grade papers and things of that nature. I was always chosen to assist the Principal with various tasks. All the student's use to envy me and it felt so damn good!

ACT 3 (third age)

And then I became the "Social Butterfly" while in highschool. I was very stylish and beautiful, not to mention intelligent and mature. However, I was behind in the love department...by age 18 I still hadn't kissed a boy yet...

ACT 4 (fourth age)

I managed to get a scholarship for a college that was farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr away from home, but that was the only ticket out of my parent's home. Sadly, I couldn't cope and ended up back in my childhood bedroom after 1 year. Oh and I had fully surpassed the kissing stage.

ACT 5 (fifth age)

At this point I started trying to "find myself". I would re-invent myself every week, there was 1 time when I wanted to change myself into a wife, so I married my boyfriend in secret. We had a son together and soon divorced. That's when I realized how much I love African men and how American men could not stimulate my mind.

ACT 6 (sixth age)

And then I finally got around to pursuing that college degree again. It came easy to me being that I have always been very studious, with a level of intellect that most people don't understand.

ACT 7 (seventh age)

The final scene of all has yet to come but I am sure it will be truly eventful. It will probably end the way this all began, with me sucking on something- because I have never been able to shake this oral fixation I entered the world with.

Snowflakes by, Mika

2008-10-06T23:01:00.000-07:00

I'm waiting for the Snowflakes to fall, the way they do... I'm ready for another winter in New York City. In 3 weeks Halloween will be here and I can feel myself getting excited... I can't wait to buy candy for the children who come to my door dressed as pirates and princesses. Today, I found myself really pondering if I should also give out cupcakes with festive orange frosting this year or not? I love to see the happiness of the children when I open my door. It's October- the month of Pumpkin Pie, and Apple Cinnamon scented candles...I am anticipating heading to the store to buy some tomorrow. People think I'm crazy but this is what I live for. The snow is coming soon and I hope love comes with it. I dream of going to Starbucks with him and sipping on a Holiday Drink, will it be a Gingerbread latte...or Pumpkin Spice coffee?- hold the whip cream, it adds 500 more calories than necessary. Speaking of Starbucks, today I was in my favorite one (8th street and Astor place) and as I looked around I saw the usual hip young people with chunky sweaters, trendy scarves and apple laptops-oh and you gotta have the i-phone and i-pod to go with it. NYU students study in groups, then as it got late they ran back to their cozy dorms.
I wanna see the Snowflakes this year, I want to count them one by one and enjoy every moment. I will treat the Snowflakes like LOVE- so gentle and so precious. Indeed, I know that this winter like all winters will feel soooooo long and I will experience many cold days...literally and figuratively. It will feel as if theres no such thing as Autumn because the cold will rush in and take over-but there is... and I will be sure to take time out to feel it. I DON'T WANNA PUT ON MY OVER-SIZED COAT YET, its not time.

*When I come home from the cafe tonight, in my dreams I will imagine I am with my man cuddled up on the sofa drinking green tea...and I didn't force him to drink it, this guy is different. HE ACTUALLY LOVES GREEN TEA!!! *

When the Snowflakes come down he will keep me warm and for his kindness and love I'm gonna run to Chinatown this weekend and pick him up some tea from the market. 10 bucks for a box of 5 tea bags...ya I know it's alot but he's worth it. Oh! and it's gonna be 80 degrees on Sunday, an indian summer yay! Although, I still look forward to the snow falling down... I'm gonna take advantage of the weather and ride my bicycle 1 last time before I put it away until May.

(Click the link below to enjoy the music).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUs7xtaUgZk